"Soul Train" - TSOP

Good morning peeps! Finally...something to praise BET about! I am loving their new channel, Centric! I discovered this channel about a month ago, as I was channel surfing. I saw that it featured classic videos of artists in different genres of music, instead of just rap! I was delighted to see some of the forgotten R&B artists that my generation grew up listening to. The only time I was able to see these performers lately, was at live venues like The Beacon Theater, The Paradise Theater in the Bronx, Lehman College in the Bronx, BB Kings, etc. However, these shows are few and far between (well, I have seen a lot in the past few years). Anyway, I am a fan of Centric now. The other reason I am thrilled about this channel is that it shows vintage Soul Train episodes! Y-a-a-y! Not just any old episodes; none of those eighties or nineties "under the skirt" episodes, that made me stop watching, but episodes from the seventies! Great music! Great artists! Great, well so-so dancing! Afros! platform shoes! Leisure suits! Polyester! (Boo!). I am loving the revival of The Soul Train Awards Show too! As I watched last night, I reminisced and really missed the greats like: Chaka Khan, Al Green, Aretha, The Whispers, The Delfonics, The Stylistics, The O'jays. These groups used to be the mainstay artists on S.T. in the seventies. Charlie Wilson of The Gap Band was honored (with Keith Sweat and Genuwine representing), as was Chaka Khan. Kudos to them! There was a Motown Tribute performance that was rather lackluster in my opinion, due to weak singers. During the tribute to Chaka, there was a lot of unnecessary screaming by: Erykah Badu, Fantasia and one other female whose name escapes me. The best homage was sung by Angie Stone, who didn't scream or oversing. When Chaka did sing, she screamed a bit too much also...my opinion folks. Boyz-to-Men was missing two men, but still sounded good. The show was taped in The ATL, so those "Housewives" were there. Random observation: The Don (Cornelious) was not there...just saying.

"There's A Stranger in my House" - Tamia

Good afternoon peeps! I must admit that I had no clue what to write about today. I went to an oldies concert last night at The Brooklyn Academy of Music (BAM) and thought I might write about that. The show featured three top acts: Dennis Edward's Temptation Review, The Manhattans featuring Blue Lovett  plus that gorgeous voiced Gerald Alston and, from the West Coast; Rose Royce. The surprise of the evening was that Paul Williams, Jr., son of original Temptation, Paul Williams, is now a part of The Temptation's Review. Great show! But, I've decided to comment on a more topical event of this past week: (no, not Tiger Woods...maybe later) but...those two party crashers: Mr. and Mrs. Talahi of Virginia. Hell to the nah! One of my biggest pet peeves is uninvited guests! If I didn't invite you to my party...don't show up! Of course there are exceptions. Like, if you come with a friend that was invited and you don't plan on eating for two or more (unless you are pregnant),  you are welcome to come...that has happened before. Just don't come with the intention a packing a plate for yourself and Bubba and dem! But seriously...as anyone that knows me from my early childhood days will tell you, if you come to my house unexpected...I'll stand to the door and chat but you aint coming in! (Right Teresa?). Sidebar: I once let a salesman in even though my mother had said say "she's not home" (she was hiding), and he repossessed our black and white TV! My mother was livid, and didn't replace the TV for a long time; depriving us of the best entertainment those days had to offer us! What? No Bandstand? No Mickey Mouse Club? No Twilight Zone!  Now, it seems these two: Michaele and Tareq, thought it was ok to crash the Obama's first official dinner party. No, not ok! What an embarrassing thing to have happen, in addition to being a severe breech in security. It has been reported that death threats have increased 400% since Obama took office! This is certainly not the time to have lax security! Though seemingly harmless, any breech in security is a potential threat to the Obama family! The desire to star in a reality TV show has run amok! Gone haywire! Wreaked havoc! What are your thoughts? What should happen to all involved?

"Does Your Mama Know About Me?" - Bobby Taylor & The Vancouvers

Good morning peeps! Happy Day-After-Black-Friday! Let's come up with a name for it... How about: "Come to your senses 'cause you are broke Saturday?" Too long right? Anywhoo...my topic for today is interracial dating; inspired by two songs that I remember well from the sixties: "Does Your Mama Know About Me" which was recorded incidently, by the group that supposedly really discovered The J5; Bobby Taylor & The Vancouvers. Included in the group was Tommy Chong of Cheech and Chong, who is also the father of bi-racial actress Rae Dawn Chong. The Supremes also recorded a version of this song. In the song, the question is asked, "Does your mama know about me? Does she know just what I am? Will she turn her back on me? Or accept me as a man?" Deep huh? He goes on to ask, "And what about your dad? Did you think of what he'll say? Do you accept the burdens, I know will surely come your way? Maybe I shouldn't worry, but I've been through this before, and I'd like to get things straight, before I'm knocking at your door" (Huuummm, a serial bi-racial dater). The other song that comes to mind about this situation is called "Brother Louie" by a one-hit-wonder group, The Stories. The intro goes, "She was black as the night, Louie was whiter than white, but when he took her home to meet his mama and papa, it was a terrible fight."  Now I ask you...have you ever been involved in these situations? Have you dated outside your race or ethnic group, and was rejected by the family and friends? Has your family rejected someone you brought home because of their race or ethnicity? Share your story; I'll share mine: I went on my first interracial date this past July, with a nice fella I met over a social networking site. He was of Irish descent. We had been messaging back and forth, and had spoken on the phone a few times. We had more in common than not: kids, gr.kids, a liking for 1950's blk & wh. Sci-Fi movies, Doo-wop music. When I finally accepted a date with him, I followed all the "safe meeting suggestions" and invited him to an outdoor Doo-wop concert in The Boogie Down. He drove from Strong Island in his convertable. We went to lunch at an Italian restaurant, then enjoyed the concert. I called my sister Rickie, to come and join us; she did. He was friendly but quiet; also generous...he insisted on paying for the lunch and bought me a tee-shirt. After a long concert, he drove us both home then called later to say he'd enjoyed himself and didn't want it to end. We are still in touch, but have had no further dates. He has asked but I've been reluctant; only because I don't believe in putting one's eggs in one basket  (WTF does that mean?). I didn't want him to think I was that into him...I wasn't! He is friend material, but no sparks for me. I don't think his race is the reason; it's me I guess. I want the butterflies in the stomach feeling we women get when we meet "that man." It didn't happen with him. Now, do tell!!!

"Thank God it's Friday" - Love & Kisses

Good morning peeps! Are you here? Or are you out shopping til you drop because it's "Black Friday?" I used to think that the term "black" is attributed to all things negative, in the media. For example, "black magic" is bad; the man in the "black hat and coat" is usually the villian in a story. Captain "Black Beard" was a bad pirate; however, next to "Good Friday", "Black Friday" is a good Friday! I was curious about the origins of the term because I had always thought (notice I didn't say assumed, and you know why), that the term "Black Friday" was referencing the retail term for turning a profit, since being in the "red" meant losses and being in the "black" meant gains. Well, it did evolve into that meaning. Macy's and other retailers designated the day after Thanksgiving as "Black Friday" to usher in the unofficial start of the Christmas shopping season. But it didn't always refer to just shopping. In the 1960's, Philiadelphia police called the day after Thanksgiving "Black Friday" because of the huge traffic jams caused by shoppers. The term spread to the mainstream after The New York Times used it in an article about shopping after Thanksgiving. Now wasn't that an interesting bit of trivia? I know...get a life right?

"I Want to Thank You Heavenly Father" - Alicia Myers

Good morning peeps! It's that time of year when we become mindful of all that we have or are. Although we should be grateful every day we wake up, we often tend to relegate our declarations of gratitude to specific times of the year. Thanksgiving is tomorrow, so we once again openly state what we are thankful for; unashamedly. I'm no different so...here are my declarations of gratitude:
As I stood in my kitchen this morning preparing pancakes, I felt a brush on my shoulder followed by a loud bang! The overhead light globe had fallen! It is made out of glass, but did not shatter or break in any way. I was stunned because it was so unexpected. I did not know the holding knob on the bottom was even loose. After I replaced it and screwed it back on as tightly as I could, I thought about how close it came to hitting me square on my noggin. Then, I thanked God that it hadn't, for it would surely have knocked me senseless! It reminded me how God looks out for us, even when we aren't even thinking about it. I am thankful for my ancestors who helped mold me into who I am; my immediate family (siblings, children, parents...) and my friends. I have made new friends whom I have never even met in person, thanks to this medium we call the internet. Thank you Stephanie Jordan for being my sister-from-another-mother/father or as we say, SFAMF. Without your support and know how, this blog would not have happened; you inspire me. Thank you to all who have touched my life in positive ways...Peace!

"Doctor's Orders" - Carol Douglas

Good evening all. I spent the best part of this day sitting in a doctor's office (not sick; just preventive stuff). Therefore, I've decided to make this blog about doctor trivia. Songs, TV shows, observations about doctors. I would love for you to join in with your ideas.

How many songs with "doctor" in the title or lyrics can you name? Here's what I have: "I pick, (clap, clap); names of, (clap, clap); doctors, (clap, clap); five a piece, (clap, clap); no repeats, (clap, clap): memba that game?
1. Doctor's Orders - Carol Douglas
2. Doctor My Eyes - Jackson Browne
3. Dr. Feel Good - Aretha Franklin
4.The Witch Doctor - Alvin and The Chipmunks
5. Doctor Love - Tina Charies

T V doctors ( Real or not):
1. Dr. Kildare
2. Dr. Ben Casey
3. Dr. Welby
4. Dr. Phil
5. Dr. Oz

What type of Doctor am I?
1 .I deliver babies. What type of doctor am I?
2. I get under your skin. What's my title?
3 .I deal with the male genitalia and reproductive system. I am called a____________?
4. My specialty is the female genitalia and reproductive system. I am called a__________?
5. I take care of the babies and kiddies after they arrive. I am a_____________? 
6. I get inside your head and prescribe medication if needed; I am a____________________?
7. I get inside your head but am not a medical doctor and do not prescribe medication; I am a___________?
8. I examine your eyes but don't give you the glasses. I'm called an____________________.
9. I fit you with glasses, after examining your eyes. I'm an________________________.
10.I charge you big bucks to make you look fake. I am a________________________.

Well peeps, that's my blog for today...comment, answer questions, add jokes or whatever you want to do, peace!

Best Wishes!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
I'm thankful to cross paths with everyone! Life is Good!

I wish you all a great Holiday, good food and fun with family and friends this Thanksgiving!
Just showing some love :-)
Steph

These tree pics were all taken around my neighborhood in the East Bay, Cali.

"I Love Music" - The O'Jays

Good Morning music lovers! Did you watch The American Music Awards show last night? You bet I did! I missed the opening and Janet Jackson's performance because I was watching the very funny Curb Your Enthusiasm on HBO, which I ordinarily don't watch. The episode featured Vivica A. Fox, playing as "the black woman," who performed a certain service on Larry David's character (he plays himself). Vivica is cursing him out because he wants to return to his wife, and accuses him of getting a taste of "brown sugar," then moving on...or something to that effect. By now, I was hooked, and continued watching the next episode, which was the reunion episode. It featured the cast from the Larry David created show, Seinfeld. I was watching this, when I saw a feed on FB from a friend, talking about some dress Paula Abdul was wearing on The AMA's. I quickly turned and caught the rest of the show. I still missed Whitney's performance...I don't know...I must have dozed or something. I did see her win an "International Award of Excellence." Is this a newly created award? Anyway, congratulations to Whitney. Here are some of my observations:
Thanks to Kanye West, Taylor Swift won damn near every award in sight for a female artist, including the coveted Favorite Female Artist of the Year, Favorite Pop Female, Favorite Country Female and get this, Adult Contemporary. Isn't she still seventeen? Or is that her "show business age?" Go Taylor; it's because of Kanye!...Jay-Z was introduced by his new BF, A. Rod of  The New York Yankees, and with his new muse, Alicia Keyes, he performed Empire State of Mind. He had the LA audience mouthing the words, and bobbing their heads. When Jay gave props to New York, I thought I heard some slight booing. Maybe it was my imagination. Anyway, enough of this East Coast-West Coast rivalry nonsense...kudos to the many talented people on both coasts! Speaking of Jay, his beautiful wife B, was conspicuously absent! And when she was announced as the winner of the Favorite Female in the Soul/R&B award (read: black category), the award had to be accepted by the presenters. Huh? Why didn't Jay accept it for her? I'm just saying. Curioser and curioser...when Jay gave thanks for his Favorite Hip-Hop award, he thanked everyone involved, except...guess who? Another observation: There was a whole lot of "channeling" happening on the show: Lady Ga Ga channeled Madonna, Rihanna channeled Lady Ga Ga, my Bronx home girl J Lo channeled Rihanna, right down to Rihanna's signature "eh, eh, eh!" Home girl danced and stepped up on some male dancer's backs, jumped off and landed on her celebrated derriere! Proving to be a typical Nu-Yawker, she got right back up...in style! As she exited the stage, she quipped, "did you miss me?" Go J Lo! Getting back to Rihanna channeling Lady Ga Ga: the performance was rather...please fill in the blank if you saw the show. She was wearing an interesting "cat suit  meets the mummy" outfit, but she has the figure to pull it off! The late, great Michael Jackson won at least two awards: Favorite Male Artist and Album of the Year for his "Number Ones" albumn. Brother Jermaine accepted the award like it was for him...LOL! Watching all the shenanigans made me long for "real music" "real singers" and, alas...the artists of days gone by...oh well.

EAST COAST * WEST COAST DIVAS: "Left Coast...Right Coast?"

EAST COAST * WEST COAST DIVAS: "Left Coast...Right Coast?"

EAST COAST * WEST COAST DIVAS: "Left Coast...Right Coast?"

EAST COAST * WEST COAST DIVAS: "Left Coast...Right Coast?"

"Left Coast...Right Coast?"

Good Morning! Buenos Dias! Bonjour! Buongiorno! Welcome to week two of a collaboration of voices from both coasts, and all points in between. The mission of this blog is to present points of view from women and men in the form of commentary, poetry, observations, artwork, photography and any media you wish to contribute, that you feel represents you or your coast. Often, people have preconceived notions about others, due to geographic location, that is sometimes positive, but more often negative. I say we are more alike than different, regardless of where our seeds were planted! By the way, I have never said "NuYawk" and I am not rude!...and your Hawaiian shirt and flip-flops are a fashion statement!

East Coast-West Coast Counter Parts

Signature song:

East Coast: New York, New York by Frank Sinatra (honorary mention: Empire State of Mind by Jay-Z & Alicia Keyes)

West Coast: I Left My Heart in San Francisco (honorary mention: California Dreaming by MamasPapas)

Signature bridge:

NY: Brooklyn Bridge

Cali: Golden Gate Bridge

Governors:

NY: David Patterson, visually impaired

Cali: Arnold Schwarzenegger, language impaired

Mayors:

NY: Michael Bloomberg

Cali: Antonio Villaraigosa (LA)

Indigenous music:

NY: Doo-Wop; Street corner harmonizing

Cali: Beach Boys; Surfer Sounds

Rap Anthems:

NY: Welcome To New York City by Jay-Z

Cali: California Love by Tupac

Famous Rich Guys:

NY: The Donald (Trump)

Cali: Kirk Kerkorian

Famous Rich Girls:

NY: Ivanka Trump; Paris Hilton

Cali: Paris Hilton (bi-coastal)

Funk Masters:

NY: Rick James

Cali: Sly & The Family Stone

Shopping:

NY: Fifth Avenue, Madison Avenue

Cali: Rodeo Drive; Beverly Hills

Signature dead rappers:

NY: Biggie

Cali: Tupac

Natural Disasters:

NY: Hurricanes, flooding

Cali: Earth Quakes, mudslides, wildfires

Animal pests:

NY: Rats

Cali: Ground squirrels

Signature mocked expression:
NY: Yo!

Cali: Dude!

Signature sports teams:

Basketball:

NY: Huh? Duh?

Cali: The Lakers

 Football:

NY: Giants, Jets

Cali: Raiders, Chargers

Baseball:

NY: Yankees (Mets)

California: Angels (Dodgers)

Tourist Traps:

NY: Times Square

Cali: Walk of Fame

Girls:

NY: Gossip Girls; Sex and The City Girls

Cali: Valley Girls; Desperate Housewives

Waiters:

NY: Waiting for big break on Broadway

Cali: Waiting for big break in Hollywood

Notorius Killers:

NY: Son of Sam, Colin Ferguson

Cali: Hillside Strangler, Zodiac Killer

This list could go on forever; please add to it...thanks!

"Random Musings"

Good Morning peeps! 

Lately, I have been waking up with a song on my mind from which to draw inspiration for my writing. Oddly, that didn't happen this morning. I'm not saying I don't ever have thoughts unrelated to songs, but I like having that connection. Instead, I will draw from the many songs that are swirling around in my psyche, plus throw in some "random musings." Yes, I know...I am being somewhat self-indulgent (like most jazz is) but as The Isley Brothers said, "It's Your Thing, Do What You Want to Do"... So, I will.
 

The Top Tens Signs That Christmas is Coming:

1. The heavy rotation of commercials letting us know the Hess Truck is coming and it's  better than ever...

2. We just said good-bye to Summer...didn't we?

3. Over Stock is running it's recycled commercial from years back, with the woman singing and everyone dressed in white.

4. Your kids are acting especially nice and/or complaint

5. Cool Old Navy commercials with young people dancing and singing (lest yee forgot who their targeted audience is).

6. You start receiving emails about "wish lists"

7. Macy's skipped Halloween and Thanksgiving and cut to the chase, by putting up Christmas decorations in September.

8. Nat King Cole's version of The Christmas Song is on your mind (fess up...you know it is)

9. A Christmas Story is beginning it's marathon run on TV.

10. "Black" is beautiful again...as in "Black Friday"...one of the biggest shopping days of the year for retailers.

Random: Santas are now asking for the H1N1 shots first! And forget letting your kids sit on Santa's lap!

There! That's all I have on that subject for now. Can you think of more signs? Please add yours...

CALIFORNIA LIVING 1800s

City of San Juan Bautista.

Just a bit of old California History. This is the Mission at the City of San Juan Bautista. The city was incorporated in 1869. There's a Museum that features some amazing old time transportation, the Limo of Coaches and more.

How would you like to have to use this bathroom everyday!

The Hotel Dining Room
Ladies Guest Room
1800s LivingAll of the above pictures were taken by Steph Jordan

EAST COAST * WEST COAST DIVAS: "Baby's Got Back" - Sir Mix-A-Lot

EAST COAST * WEST COAST DIVAS: "Baby's Got Back" - Sir Mix-A-Lot

"Baby's Got Back" - Sir Mix-A-Lot

"Oh my God! Becky, look at her butt! It is so big! I can't believe it's so round; it's like, out there! I mean - gross! Look! She's just so...black!" Sounds familiar? It's part of the opening lyrics in the comedic rap song of the ninties, "Baby's Got Back" by Sir-Mix-A-Lot. Many of us can't help but smile as we listen to SMAL sing about his fondness for large derrieres. How about that YouTube video of the newly married couple boogying to it during their reception? Well, I can't imagine that Saartjie Baartman aka, "The Hottentot Venus" thought her ample derriere was a laughing matter. Not familiar with that name? Well, it's Herstory Time...listen up. Saartjie (Sara) Baartman was born in 1789 to a Khoisan family in the Eastern Cape of South Africa. She was a slave of Dutch farmers. In 1810, a British ship's doctor noticed what seemed to him, Sara's "unusual" shape (read: big butt). He took her to London with her believing she was going to gain wealth, when in reality, he was "pimping" her. She was put on display for paying audiences to ogle her unusually large derriere and protruding genitalia, and was  forced to entertain people by gyrating her nude body, with the promise of half the profits. This caused a scandal and she was sold to a French entrepreneur (another pimp?), who took her to Paris, where she was put on display by an animal trainer for fifteen months!!! After being the subject of public ridicule, Sara descended into alcoholism and prostitution (ya think?) to support herself. Sadly, Sara died at the age of twenty-six of an inflammatory ailment; possibly Smallpox. Free at last! Right? Wrong! After her death, Sara's skeleton, brain and preserved genitals, were placed on display in Paris were they remained until 1974! It wasn't until 2002 that she was returned to rest in her homeland. If you care to know more about this sad story, google her. It's a story that needs to be told. Perhaps you'll remember Sara the next time you watch videos portraying women as body parts; rather than whole human beings.

EAST COAST * WEST COAST DIVAS: "Young Man, Older Woman" - Millie Jackson

EAST COAST * WEST COAST DIVAS: "Young Man, Older Woman" - Millie Jackson

"Young Man, Older Woman" - Millie Jackson

Good Morning! What do Madonna, Cher, Joan Collins, Juliette Mills, Mariah Carey and Courtney Cox have in common, other than their celebrity and gender? They are all involved or have been involved with younger men...in Cher's, Juliette's and Madonna's cases; much younger men! They are part of a group of women recently referred to as "cougars" (a predatory cat by definition). Mind you, men have chosen younger females to mate with, date, and marry for years, and it was never given much thought, nor given a label like "cougar". Sometimes, you might hear, "oh he's just a dirty old man" (snicker, snicker), but mostly nothing negative is said. Elvis Presley arranged to have Priscilla Beauleau move in with him while she was still a teen-ager and he was in his twenties. Jerry Lee Lewis married his young, teen-aged cousin,and don't get me started about Hugh(Hef)Hefner! He has them in pairs and collectively they don't add up to his age. He would need about five or six for that to happen! Can you imagine the hoopla if a woman was doing this back then? (Referring to the 1950's). Now I know things have changed somewhat, and young men/older women relationships are flourishing; but still, not without eye brows being raised,and disparaging comments being made: "she's a cougar", "he's in it for her money" "she's robbing the cradle"... At this point in my life, I say: sister, if you and a younger man are attracted to each other, and he is not your student (you hear that Mary Kaye Letourneau?), your son or daughter's friend, or your relative, go for it. Afterall, you deserve to be happy too!

EAST COAST * WEST COAST DIVAS: "What's Going On?" - Marvin Gaye

EAST COAST * WEST COAST DIVAS: "What's Going On?" - Marvin Gaye

"What's Going On?" - Marvin Gaye

Good morning all. When I woke up this morning (TYL), I was all set to write about relationships between young men and older women. However, as I listened to the news (a daily ritual; first thing I turn on), the conversation was about skin lightening!!! It seems that there is a renewed interest in this topic, due to the recent appearance of baseball player Sammy Sosa's skin. Sammy Sosa is a brown skinned Latino brother that I considered handsome, who has become almost unrecognizable! His skin looks stripped of all it's chocolate-ness and his eyes appear green (contacts). According to what I've read, he claims to be using a "skin softening" product...wanna buy the Brooklyn Bridge? Anyway, there seems to be a phenomenon sweeping through Asia, Africa and I suppose, North America too...skin lightening! I don't get it, but to each his own...bleach that skin with that hydroquinone...lol! The Temptations said, "Beauty's Only Skin Deep, yeah, yeah, yeah!" Micheal Jackson said, "It Don't Matter if You're Black or White" (yeah, right), James Brown said, "Say it Loud, I'm Black and I'm Proud" and we  sported afros and embraced the beauty of our blackness ( well, some of us did) and Marvin Gaye queried, "What's Going On?"...I am with you Marvin.

CALIFORNIA DREAMIN'

Monterey, CA

West Coast Divarrazzi here LOL. You may have seen the recent run of "Come to California" commercials featuring our Actor Governor, his wife and slew of other famous people, with money. And of course the activities they are partaking in during the commercial require...Money! Reality, not all of California lives like that or can afford to live like that. Unemployment is through the roof, over population, homelessness, gangs, all the things that plague other states also plague us.

There is however a beautiful side that you may not know of. A side that those of us that don't have the endless purse can appreciate and it only requires a love for Nature and open mind. I personally also love the shiny side but have found ways to make it work with dull coins! For example, I love 4 star hotels, but who can afford to pay $200 or even $300 or more a night for a hotel. Priceline baby. I love that priceline.com and have turned many people on to it. My daughter and I make regular trips to L.A. since we were born there. I've not lived there for over 20 years so when I return it's as a visitor/tourist.

(Hollywood Roosevelt, Hollywood CA) Priceline to our rescue. (Funny enough this was also the site of my first job, as a maid! in the long long ago time LOL)

A favorite for a Diva on a Dreamer's Budget is the coastline. And should you ever travel along the coast from Mailibu check out Gladstones Link. Yummy is all I can say to the Seafood cobb and the tasty Mojitos! If you like some Gravy on it, you might try Aunt Kizzy's Back Porch for so oh so tasty Soul Food. And the portions are huge. Try the Meatloaf, Smothered Chicken and make sure you grab some dessert, Peach cobbler yum!

Now, onto my favorite part.Going over the Grapevine
Asilomar

Great Cows and Lazy Cows come from California (Livermore to be exact) LOL

Tiburon, CA

Mt. Diablo

Capitola

Berkeley, CA

Well that's it for now, I realized I could go on all day! LOL but nature calls, It's gorgeous outside and my camera awaits. Have a great day! And stay tuned for more
California Dreamin'
Muah!

"A Thin Line"? By Beverly Rhett

Good morning all! Woke up this morning with a song on my mind...I know, I know...here she goes again with that claim. Well, I do tend to think in terms of music a great deal; I love music so much! Any whoo, the song is called, "It's A Thin Line Between Love and Hate" and it was recorded in the seventies by a group called The Persuaders (not to be confused with the acapella group, The Persuasions). It got me to thinking ( I Think, Therefore...), but to the point: is the line between love and hate really thin? Or does it really take a lot to make one arrive at that point? Remembering the Martin Lawrence movie of the same name, he treated a mentally fragile female so badly, that she ended up trying to kill him. Have any of you ever felt this way about a mate? What pushed you to that point? I suspect that most of us tolerate a multitude of hurts before reaching the point of no return. The song says, "the sweetest woman in the world, can be the meanest woman in the world, if you make her that way..." Can someone really "make you that way"? I don't think the line between love and hate is thin...I think many of us try to hold on to love long "After The Love is Gone"- EWF, because we relish "The Glow of Love" - Luther Vandross. Martha and The Vandellas said, "Love, Love, Love, Makes You Do Foolish Things" but Tina Turner inquires, "What's Love Got to do With It"? Huuummm...I wonder! BTW, I think the opposite of love is indifference, rather than hate. How about you?

"Trail"

Lovely Miss Tree and her gnarly companion

Nature's leaf collage

George Washington Bridge in the distance

The Cloisters, Manhattan

Fort Tryon Park; Inwood Manhattan...

Autumn in New York City...It's a beautiful thing!

"Why Can't We Be Friends?" - War

Anyone that knows me knows that I love music, so from time to time I will refer to a song title or lyric as a springboard for discussion. I woke up this morning (thank you lord) with this song from the seventies on my mind; "Why Can't We Be Friends?" by War( any irony here)? I've often asked that same question; particularly about women of color( read: Black women). Yes, of course there are exceptions. I am sure we all have life-long female friends; friends we made in school, co-workers, etc. But, it seems that all too often we relate to other women as adversaries or competition, instead of allies. We judge, criticize, gossip about, undermine or "diss" other females, rather than compliment and support. What is the underlying reason? Sometimes it's done to win favor with men. We might have bought into the "male shortage" notion and have decided to get a man "by any means necessary," thus treating other women like they are the enemy or the reason we can't get with or remain with the man we want. There's a theory that with age comes wisdom. As a woman of a certain age, I've embraced the idea that women benefit from the friendship, understanding and camaraderie of other women, as well as with men. Let's cherish our female friends. BTW, I wish I was Oprah's BFF!

To Closure or Not to Closure

It’s so hard to say, “Good Bye”, or at least a reasonable facsimile of it. Or is it? How important is Closure to you? How do you take not getting ‘Closure’ at the end of a situation? Relationship, Disagreement, Job, whatever situation, some people tend to need Closure before successfully advancing to the next stop on the Journey through life. Some think the need for Closure is a sign of weakness or a failure to let go. What does Closure mean to you? Is it the desire to have final justification from another?

Even if you’ve never said “I need Closure” out loud, your actions ‘at the end’ may reveal otherwise. I don’t think I’ve ever been consciously aware of needing or wanting Closure because maybe shamefully so, when things started looking like too much work (work as in making excuses for, or tolerating more, etc) I’ve always had a tendency to run into the light! J Down side to that, every once in a while the light goes out. And you’re stuck, wondering and confused until you find your way out. That’s Closure.

I believe that Closure is a personal need, not a requirement. It’s more a courtesy and sign of respect to those that deserve it. It’s a way of giving yourself permission to move on. Ultimately that’s what it’s all about. Being released (releasing yourself) so that you can move on. Maybe it’s truly personal, we’ve all said at one point in life or another “What did I do to deserve that?” or “Why would they do that to me?”

I’ve looked through many pages on the subject and the majority pointed to ‘It’s necessary to have Closure’ and how to get it. Oddly not many that I went through suggested just letting it go.

I asked a few for their opinion on the need for Closure and these are some of the responses I got.

Survey Says:

Closure is all within you. I don’t believe that others actions will provide closure for an individual. An individual must find Closure within themselves. Same as with forgiveness!

Me: I do believe that Closure is a personal thing but I also believe that sometimes there may be a need to connect and communicate with the thing that brought about the pain or suffering in the first place to be able to let go. I understand both sides of this issue.

I agree that the ability to have Closure is all within us. And would add that sometimes the challenge is figuring what will give me closure for certain situations or relationships. For me, when I can leave the pain and take the lesson is when I have Closure. It’s easier said than done sometimes.

Me: Exactly, what will give Closure? Figuring that out and being honest about it is a great way to deal with it. Well of course, there’s why, why would we need Closure. The Situations vary and there may indeed be a need to attach some finalization to it. If a company does you wrong and cuts it off at the path with no explanation, you may be upset, even angered, and then you move on. Because it’s a necessity for your well being. There’s bills to pay and life to live. It was a cold action, but probably more business related than personal. However, when a person you care about or even love does the same thing, the effect is of course more personal and more painful. Because you have an emotional attachment many of your thoughts will have to be re-routed. No kidding. You will have to focus that energy in another direction. I run for Canvas, paint it out. Or at least I try to. I’ve learned to focus certain responses to Art. That works for me but you of course will have to find your focus. We all have that ability.

Steph I think closure is important in some, but maybe not all situations. For example, I would want Closure in a relationship with a lover (husband or otherwise) so he won’t think I have an open-door policy. On the other hand, if I have a childhood friend that resurfaces later in my life, I would like to renew the friendship. I might have wondered what happened to them and that the friendship was closed to us (closure).

Me: I agree with you regarding the relationship part. My reason is I am so low key that I like for things to go smoothly “Drama Free”. I don’t want there to be people walking around out there harboring negative feelings about me. I know we can’t control everyone’s thoughts and sometimes things just don’t work that way but I do try to do my best to show respect and compassion by leaving with a smile. I think being able to do that frees up so much energy that could be blocked with negative trash.

If you’re in a meaningful relationship, (marriage or great friends) and both of you take separate paths at the fork in the road; seeing that you came in as friends there must be Closure so that the both of you will stay on speaking terms and close the chapter on the good and trying times you had together.

Sometimes only one of you may require Closure. Give the other person the respect of closing out things in an orderly fashion.

Some men for whatever reason feel that if they give a woman Closure it’s wimping out but deep down when they are alone at night their inner soul wishes that they did. Everyone deserves some type of closure.

Now on the other hand if there’s really no value in the relationship (ok friends with benefits) then when it’s over it’s just over. No closure required. Right!

Just remember that someone gets up with feelings every day and deserves the right and respect to close out those feelings with grace.

Finally, Closure to me is ending what started as a new beginning on the same note; Knowing that we both can go on to begin things anew again with someone else.


Me: Well said!

I guess it all boils down to individual needs. It’s apparent that there are many different opinions and feelings about Closure. As for me, I like to retain respect for people even when we’ve decided to part ways, that’s what happens in life. I don’t want to spend too much time dwelling on painful things. And I guess deep down I always hope that people feel the same way with me. Admitted there are times when we have no control over a situation and have to deal with what comes. And remember sometimes, people run because they don’t have the power or presence of mind to stand in pain and prefer to cut it off and pretend it never happened. If the other party prefers not to give you Closure it’s in your hands to deal with it and move on. You don’t want to deal with regrets if you don’t have to. You have no control over that. Just work to move past it as fast and clean as you can. It’s another one of those things that makes us all different.

All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on. ~Havelock Ellis

Life is Good
Steph Jordan

I'd love to know what you think

This article was previously published in Divapreneur Magazine
You can read my other articles there in the Body and Soul section and in the Relationship section.

"Good Morning Starshine...The Earth Says Hello" - Sesame Street

Hey there everybody...it's day two of a new venture for me...the launching a this EC*WCD blog! I want to give props to my mentor and sister/friend, Stephanie Jordan for taking this journey with me. She suggested that I say something biographical about myself but I must admit that I have a hard time with that. However, I will try so here goes: Born and raised in Harlem New York. Lived in West and East Harlem and also The South Bronx as a child. Schooled in The Bronx through Junior High School and attended High School and College in Manhattan. I am the middle child in a family of five; left handed, quirky at times and serious when necessary. I have three unique children; a son and two daughters, and two grandchildren. I am separated and loving the freedom and I recently retired, after teaching Special Education students for twenty-five years. Writing has always been a passion of mine and now I have the time to indulge my passion. I am ready for the next phase of my life...I am inviting you to help me on this new venture...please read, comment and contribute!

Welcome East Coast/West Coast Divas!

What fun this is going to be! So lets start at the beginning.

I'm Steph. Dreamer, Artist, Writer, Entrepreneur, DillyDallyier, Nature Lover, Legend in my Living Room and more. A while back a friend called and excitedly told me that he had a friend he wanted me to meet, Beverly Rhett. He said she was a wonderful person and he always felt like me and her would be good friends because we had so much in common. He gave me her Facebook name and told me to friend her. Which I did. Well within the first few minutes we had discovered that our children work together...in New York. Me living in Cali and her living in NY this was too much LOL. After talking it was like we'd known each other all along! Aside from our love for life and art we had so much in common it was amazing. And let's not stop there, the friend that introduced us was born on the same day as my 2 children (yes same day, nine years apart). What an amazing Journey this is for me. I can't get away from reasons to smile! LOL.

So we have decided to start this Blog to connect with all of our East Coast/West Coast Divas (Women & Men) on a more personal level. To talk about life in general. To share positive love and energy, Poetry, Articles and art, Information and so much more. Especially to talk about Lifestyles on the East and West. Now I'm really excited about that, because aside from being an Artist/Entrepreneur, Teacher, Dreamer and more...I love talking about Nature and Lifestyle. Fashion and Fun. And all other sorts of Frivolity!

We'd love it if you follow us. And we'd love it even more if you Comment and Share your thoughts as well. Whatever they may be, Poetry, Inspiration or whatever.

Tammy...A companion piece to Online Player (Bradley) by Beverly Rhett

Dedicated to all you Tammys out there:

Tammy was a lady,
Who looked for love online,
She searched and searched the internet
not knowing what she'd find,
She met a man named Bradley,
and thought she'd found her king
He acted like he liked her,
but to him it was a fling
She told her friends about him,
they warned her, "not too fast,"
He sounds like he's a player
and player love won't last,
But Tammy didn't listen
She thought she knew him well,
she poured her heart out to him,
Shared secrets, hers to tell
now Bradley knew he had her,
In the palm of his hand
he had a great big ego,
And began to hatch a plan
he thought that he could keep her,
And all the others too
but Tammy now did realize,
What her friends had said was true
so Tammy got the notion,
to make it short and sweet,
she simply pushed a button
the one that says...DELETE!

Online Player (Bradley)

This poem is dedicated to all you "online players" and the ladies that you play:

Bradley was a player
his harem was online,
He talked to many women
Oh, he thought he was fine,
He gave them all his number
He told them all to call,
He promised he would meet them
But he soon began to stall,
He had a redhead in Sacramento
A blond one in LA,
A brunette in Hawaii
And more were in the Bay,
A cutie in Chicago
A thick one in DC,
A slim one in Ohio
A few more in Pa-ree
He thought he was a player,
He thought he had it made
Till one day he realized,
His luck would surely fade
The redhead didn't want him,
The blond dismissed him too
The cutie in Chicago,
Told Bradley they were through
The thick one dropped that zero,
The slim one dissed him , phew!
Hawaii told him bye-bye,
And the many became a few
Now Bradley lost his harem,
The ladies were all gone
He spends his time lamenting,
And wondering, "what went wrong?"
The moral of this story,
The lesson to be learned
"If you call yourself a player, be ready to get burned"